陽性者と家族の日記

Always a Bridesmaid never a Bride

For some people the glass is half-full or half-empty: they have positive or negative points of view. For others, their cups run over.

My brother wrote to say this morning I’m going to be an uncle–again! My sisters and brothers are parents; I’m the oldest. At first it was cute to be the fabulous gay uncle but now it just seems lonesome. My parents will be new grandparents except they won’t have a grandchild from their favorite son: me.

I love children, especially my nieces and nephews. Understandably, I won’t ever reproduce–not even if I wanted to. Moments like this are heartbreaking.

Some of my siblings are married and others single, but single parents have the comfort and love of their children. For single gay men there are material comforts and the stylish life–friends, discos, shopping, giving yourself every thing you’ve ever dreamed of.

Regardless of my personal accomplishments I am always yearning for something more. Ultimately satisfaction is within and not outside of myself; neither can I expect satisfaction from another human being.

Before coming to Tokyo I gave a set of vintage goblets to a friend. Recentely, a friend who came to visit gave me a pair of gorgeous Italian flutes. Now they are in my kitchen, perfect for me or to share with someone special. My thirst may be unquenchable but I know how to find refreshment. And I always drink in style.

Lyric

陽性者と家族の日記 へ