DISCRETION
I met person A in a DISCREET setting where things should be kept confidential. Not knowing many people and being open-minded I thought it worthwhile to be friendly with person A. One day person A and I had a non-romantic dinner-date and person A brought his ex-boyfriend, a gaijin, whom he had told about my diagnosis. I am not open to people about my status because Tokyo is a SMALL WORLD and I’m a private kinda guy. I was livid with person A and his audacity to *help* me–putting my business out there.
The other day I saw person A by coincidence in a public place and I was equally surprised and pleased to see person A–Hisashiburi desune. Person A was with a different guy this time–Nihonjin. My Japanese is sub par but enough for me to be atama ga ii. Anyway, the Nihonjin asked person A where he knew me from and person A, not thinking of my privacy blurted out that private place again. Not only was I disgusted but really annoyed at person A’s lack of DISCRETION.
I don’t know about anyone else but I find it hard to develop genuine relationships in Tokyo–with gaijin and Nihonjin alike. Most people wear masks and are FAKE, PHONY and are usually NEVER WHAT THEY APPEAR TO BE. I think that it is possible for us to acknowledge each other without giving away the MYSTIQUE and MYSTERY that are vital to our existence. It is not just about that it is also about PRIVACY. You don’t want every TOM DICK & HARRY knowing your business do you? I don’t!
In another (somewhat private) situation I met person B. Person B and I hit it off and was open with each other from the start. But person B has lived abroad and has a different sensibility so I was not uncomfortable talking to or even being open with this person. We had a mutual understanding. The same day we met I had to meet someone else for the first time and I invited person B along. Now there were 3 of us and we all had good chemistry. All night people wanted to know how we met but we were cool enough to elude prying questions from STRANGERS. Person B and I could even communicate without our new acquiantance picking up on what was going on between us. I would go out with person B anytime and do anything with person B and even share with person B because person B, unlike person A, is TACTFUL and DISCREET.
My two cents is please respect other people’s PRIVACY.